Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Game Over!

"No more endorsements" said the BCCI to the Indian cricketers..Everyone, except Sreesanth seemed to have understood what they meant. Sreesanth thougt that the board was restricting them from watching promos on TV. But the board made it clear later on that its decision to clampdown on personal endorsements for its players was one of the many steps it has taken to bring the Indian Cricket back on track, following India's first round exit from the World cup.

A high level meeting of the board members was held yesterday in Mumbai to discuss the future of Cicket in India. After a 15 minute discussion on what should be served for lunch, BCCI President Sharad Pawar started forwarding a new MMS doing rounds in the country to all the members of the board. BCCI Secretary Niranjan Shah, after watching the MMS 9 times, said "bhideo to majedaar hai...lekin ee babua angreji mein kaa bol raha hai???"

Post lunch, all the members took a nap till 4:40 in the afternoon. Realising that they have to address the press at 5:00, everyone woke up and discussed Cricket for 15 minutes. Pawar jotted down some of the important points from the brain storming session and left for the press conference with Niranjan Shah.

By the time they reached the hall, it was packed with press people.

"Thank you everyone..it has been a hectic day for us..we are pleased to tell you all that we managed to come up with some brilliant strategies for the revival of the game." said Sharad Pawar.

One of the journalists interrupted him - "Sir..I have a question for Mr. Niranjan Shah"

A perturbed Niranjan Shah shot back - "dekhiye..kirket ke baare mein jo kuch bhi pooch naa hai inse poochiyega....hum kuch nahi bol saktey..chahiye to aapko ek mastibhara MMS bhejdenge".

"Let me place before you the various initiatives we plan to take up in the coming months. If you still have questions after that, I will be more than pleased to answer them" said Sharad Pawar.

"As you know, we have appointed Ravi Shastri as the manager for the Bangladesh tour. We will also have a research analyst, a couple of software engineers and a DTP specialist who will give him a detailed report at the end of the day. This arrangement will be tried for our sebsequent tours to Iran, Maldives and Kazkhistan. If the team wins the games against these nations, it will mean that our plan worked!!

Apart from the bowling,fielding and batting coaches, the team will also be provided with seperate coaches for helping the players in wearing pads, abdomen gurads, assisting them in rolling the grips on the bats, facilitating them in having drinks with their helmet on......and many other key aspects.

We are looking at the option of introducing 'hafta' culture into our circket wherein the players pay a part of their earnings from endorsements - to the board, on a weekly basis. This will keep them focussed on the game"

"How exactly?????" a journalist stiting in the front row asked..

Sharad Pawar, with a grin on his face, said " you will see..."

"We also feel that too much appreciation from the commentators during the game has spoiled the players..We will make arrangements with all the sports channels to have Ranjit Fernando and Rameez Raza as commentataors for all the games involving India..They have a fantastic record of saying nothing good about the Indian players"

"Before anyone says that we are being harsh on the players, let me assure you that we have a lot of incentives lined up for them...If the captain wins the toss, he will be given a plate of dahi vada. Supposing India is in a losing position and it rains, the entire team will be given seasonal passes to ride the city buses in Chennai"

Concluding the session, Mr. Sharad Pawar said "one of the major outcomes of our meeting today was the decision to gradually phase out ex cricketers from the selction committee and the board. We will be holding discussions with Deve Gowda,Vaiko and Rabri Devi to nominate people who will help us take the Indian Cricket into the future.......so..any questions?"

Seriously......ANY QUESTIONS?????????

4 comments:

Ravi said...

Wat u said is correct about indian kiricket...haha

RustyNeurons said...

Typical DSG ishtyle!
Dont be too partial towards Telugu, post more often in angrejji too..

వ్రజబాల said...

Atta boy! Way to go.

shiv said...

too gud!!..post more in eng na..for ppl weak in telgu ;)